Getting over writer’s block, or ‘the Dip’
About 2 years ago my heart broke. Me and my partner of 5 years were slowly realising we'd break up. While that was hard in itself, the process picked open wounds that I'd thought were healed, and many more I didn't even know were there.
As well as grieving the loss I started hearing what the darker parts of my mind whispered to me. "You're not good enough" was the loudest. While a total bastard, it's also done some pretty amazing things for me.
You're not good enough
Sure, I've been trying to escape that voice, or maybe prove it wrong, but it's also made me try and fix things when I think they're broken.
So, as my inner world fell apart I changed my outer world too. I quit my job and studied youth work, hit therapy hard, binged on self-development, moved house and bought a car (Honda Odysseys are not just for soccer mums). Another thing that changed was my writing habits.
What writing was like before
For years I'd stuck to my foundation - 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week. It was so ingrained that if I missed days or went on holiday, no biggie, I'd get it done soon enough - I completed the first 130 000 word draft for Dreams of the Doom-Witch in 8-months.
When writer’s block hit
So, the big reset also reset my writing. I wasn't putting aside that magic-20 any more. I guess that foundation wasn't so ingrained that it could resist a total reshuffle of my self-worth or lifestyle. Go figure.
I wrote less than once a fortnight. Most of those sessions were spent staring at the screen, dissatisfied with the few words I'd put down. Then I'd slam my laptop shut and go roll a cigarette. As the months went by I noticed something else.
Don't jump the gun!
I once did a 10-day silent meditation retreat. It progressed steadily - simple breathing for a few days and then some deeper work towards the end. While we couldn't talk, I couldn’t help but notice another attendee. His frustration and self-doubt was visible, palpable. Dare I say it - he had an aura.
But on Day 9, he changed. He seemed to float on his feet, wore a relaxed easy smile and broke out in blissed-out chuckles. It felt good to be near him, infectious. On day 10 we were allowed to talk, and of course I asked him.
He said he'd been coming for years. He was experienced with a solid foundation. So, he’d gone straight for the advanced techniques. He’s started with Day 7 and hadn't got 'there'. For days, he'd frustrated himself by trying to start at the end.
Finally, on Day 9, he did the Day 1 breathing exercises and 'found it'.
I think something similar can happen with any practice, writing included. I'd believed my foundation so established that there was no need for the basics. I was trying to start at Day 7, but couldn't quite get there.
The solution: back to basics
After bringing my block up with my (new) girlfriend, she asked me, "What were you doing when you were writing heaps?"
The answer?
"20 minutes a day at a cafe before work."
She looked at me, eyebrow raised, waiting for me to get it.
The week after I started going to a cafe every morning before work and writing for 20-30 minutes. Within a week I was rolling again and the momentum hasn't stopped building for the past 3 months.
I'm now doing about 10 hours a week. I went back to Day 1, and now feel like I'm on at least Day 8.
Thanks, Cheepy :)
What's 'the Dip'?
Not long after going back to my foundation, I watched Clark Kegley's video on 'The Dip'. It perfectly explained what I'd been through, and was a simpler and less esoteric metaphor than Days at a meditation retreat. He’s great, give him a like.
How to get over it
When you start a project/hobby/hustle, you're super excited and there's plenty of low-hanging fruit to keep inspired. Compared to none, everything seems like a huge step.
Writing 20 minutes a day, every day.
Then it becomes a slog. The low-hanging fruit has been picked and there's less reward for the work you're doing. Those steps seem harder but smaller.
Editing to a publishable standard, improving my craft, contacting agents, and networking.
Having put in so much and getting nothing, especially if the project 'goes nowhere', you run out of steam. You stop taking steps.
Rejections from agents and no short-story competition mentions.
This is where you need to go back to what you were doing at the start. Get that momentum rolling. Find quick wins and tasty fruit.
Back to writing 20 minutes a day, every day.
But now, you have so much more experience than when you started. You're doing WAY more, and doing it WAY better, than your first time around.
I've started this blog, met other writers, applied for professional feedback, and have started a new book.
So, what do you do?
If you've got writer’s block or are in the Dip for any hobby/hustle, identify what you were doing when you were actually doing.
How did you start out?
Just like when starting out, doing is better than not doing, even for veterans.
Doing = Doing better = Doing great.
But you need to start at doing, and sometimes you can't jump straight back to doing great.
Where to ‘start'?
If you don’t have a start yet, check out How I quintupled my words per day for mine.
Oh, and that ex? We're still in touch, helping each other grow from our shared experience and building the connection that, while massively changed, was never lost.
